Heather Graham Reveals Why She Hasn’t Spoken to Her Parents in Nearly 30 Years 

Heather Graham has more than six degrees of separation from her parents.  

In fact, comma the Boogie Nights actress shared that she hasn’t spoken to her parents Joan Graham and James Graham in almost three decades amid an ongoing estrangement due to her purusing a career in Hollywood. 

“My father, James, was an F.B.I. agent,” she wrote in an essay for the Wall Street Journal published Aug. 27. “He regularly told me that the entertainment industry was evil and that Hollywood would claim my soul if I became an actress and appeared in anything with sexual content.” 

And when it came to her mother, who Heather said was an elementary school teacher and author of children’s books after having kids, the 54-year-old added, “To her credit, my mother supported my creative streak and acting ambition. It was a mixed message, though, since my father was strongly against them and my mother didn’t do much to protect me from him.”

The Austin Powers actress continued to describe how she developed an acting bug at an early age, starting in theater productions in school, that would eventually bring her to Hollywood. And after getting her first movie role in License to Drive at the age of 17, she knew she’d reached a turning point.  

“When the movie came out, I was 18,” Heather explained. “Living at home had become more difficult. I said to myself, ‘I’ve got to get out of here, I’ve got to be successful, and I’ve got to be a movie star.’”

It was only seven years later—during which time she’d landed supporting roles on the TV series Twin Peaks and in movies such as Six Degrees of Separation and Swingers—that her relationship with her parents was finished for good. 

“I stopped talking to my parents when I was 25, and I’m estranged from them now,” Heather confirmed. “My friends are proud of me, and I’m proud of myself.”

While Heather hasn’t taken on a leading role since Say It Ain’t So and From Hell (both released in the early 2000s), she’s taken on a number of supporting roles in the years since, including work on both Hangover movies and series such as Scrubs.  

And amid a career that has spanned decades, Heather has seen the ways in which Hollywood has very slowly started to move away from sexist patterns and projects—though she feels progress could be faster.

 "I feel like nothing has changed drastically," she told People in April 2023 of sexism in Hollywood.

"More people care, but it's not suddenly equal. It's still pretty sexist, to be honest. Every phase of the business, whether it's financing, distribution, the reviewers, all those people are mostly men."

Yet, there are encouraging signs as more and more women position themselves at the helm. 

"The most inspiring thing to me is to see a lot of female writers, directors, and that's something that I'm starting to do," she said. "I really like hearing female voices because I think we learn a lot about the world from the movies and TV that we watch. If we're always being told stories from just a male point of view, that doesn't help women."